New Year, Slightly Less Depressed Me?
05.01.2025
I realise I only posted twice last year – 2024 was rough. I wrote a couple of other drafts throughout the year but never finalised them. But I’ve been getting back into writing over the last few months, especially poetry (not sure any of that is acceptable to post publically), but in 2025 I plan to post at least one blog every month. Again, I cannot promise they will be anything interesting or worth reading, but its fun to feel creative and productive. 2025 is the year of doing stuff – a whole year has just passed me by and let me tell you there was a real lack of doing stuff.
For me 2024 was probably the most I’ve struggled with my mental health in a long time. I really felt like I hit rock bottom when it came to depression, just pretty unable to get through anything that I wanted to complete. I felt a real loss of creativity, and confidence in my work. In my real job that actually pays the rent, I was also not having a good time, and after applying for 34 jobs, only getting an interview for 2, and getting no further than that, I felt very unwanted and far less qualified than I imagined myself to be.
This year I’m feeling like I might just change my whole life hehe. Next venture is becoming a horse girl – something I’ve always wanted to do but living in London has taken away all my outdoors nature time. Sister found a stables near my house and I got a voucher for Christmas. I’m going for the American cowboy vibe rather than the British Ascot thing – think denim over jodhpurs. My latest TV obsession is Yellowstone. But now I have the opportunity to get to grips with some basics and eventually maybe move to Canada (America is scary) and live on a ranch. I’ve always wanted to see a moose. I wonder if you can ride a moose?
I have written a list in my notes app of the energy I’m taking into 2025. Some points have been redacted for the sake of my peace of mind – not all should be public knowledge. But I do believe in the universe and speaking (or in this case posting on the internet) things into existence.
o Horse riding - you get it
o Gua sha - double chin has to go
o Move out of London - been trying this one for the last 3 years
o New teeth - having a root canal done next week -slay- and then I’m spending way too much on Invisalign yay
o Cut down sugar - I have a terrible sweet tooth. See above
o Tiktoks - social media is scary but apparently the only way to promote a brand in this age of technology. Also its kinda fun
o PMC!!! - please buy my stuff x
o Walk everywhere - outside is good, tube is bad
o Tan lines - this girl needs some serious vitamin D
o Sunglasses - I have like 15 pairs and never wear them. Bring back wearing sunnies when there’s no sun. Again I live in London
o Learn to drive - another one I’ve been trying for the past 3/actually 10 years – 2025 is the one
o Feel cute in the car - imagining myself feeling cute makes me want to do stuff that I otherwise hate
o Crochet and sewing lots! - its fun its not a chore its fun its not a chore its
o Write write BLOG - Alexa, play ‘this is me trying’ by Taylor Swift
And to throw in some astrology, 2025 is supposed to be a very lucky for anyone with Cancer placements, and its about damn time. I’m as stereotypical Cancer sun as it gets. It will be “a year of abundant opportunities… Cancer will start the year with some challenges, but by February motivation will soar as Mars moves out of retrograde. A magical summer follows, with Jupiter entering Cancer on June 9, bringing good luck and abundant opportunities in love, career, and personal growth” – from the Hindustan Times.
Its all about broadening horizons, exploring new possibilities, and embracing natural talents. I’m feeling it all and its feeling promising. Maybe the last decade (and then some) of depression is finally behind me.
Love,
Poppy <3
